All Entries in the "Baseball" Category
Mr. Met Diagnosed with Terminal Brain Cancer
Mr. Met, long time New York Mets’ mascot, has been diagnosed with a malignant brain tumor.
Steinbrenner Offers St. Peter Contract to Join Hell
HEAVEN – According to an unnamed source from the Sixth Circle of Hell, new Third Circle tenant George Steinbrenner has offered Heaven’s St. Peter a 6-year, $132 million contract to come work for Satan. The contract represents a significant increase for St. Peter, who has remained loyal to his God for millenia despite being underpaid [...]
IronBirds take advantage of meltdowns, literally. Win 6-2.
The Aberdeen IronBirds took advantage of multiple “errors” during Tuesday night’s scorcher to defeat the Lowell Spinners 6-2. Manager Gary Kendall was unavailable for comment due to a melting face.
Orioles Send Chris Tillman Back to College
Pitcher Chris Tillman has a lot to learn.
Orioles Remind Fans that Wieters is Exciting
In an effort to bolster ticket sales, the Orioles attempt to rekindle the hype around Matt Wieters.
Photo of the Day
Who is Boog Powell waiving to? Check out our image of the day to find out.
For Angelos it’s all about the O’s
Baltimore Orioles owner Peter Angelos, whose team is on its way to its thirteenth straight losing season, has made many strange moves over the years to try to turn the fortunes of his ball-club, but none stranger then his most recent move. “We’re going to change the team name,”
Orioles Invite Comedian Carrot Top to Drunkenly Stumble Into Clubhouse
Carrot Top drunkenly destroys what is left of the Orioles.
Yankees Sign Lady Gaga To Improve Image
Lady Gaga was acquired by the Yankees to improve their team image after her clubhouse pop-in on Sunday. It has been reported that Gaga discreetly slipped by security dressed as a Kermit the Frog Tree. “I just assumed she was here as part of the next promo night. Are they having a Kermit the Frog [...]
Little Leaguer Walks in Six Runs, Demoted to AA Orphanage
Jimmy Defoe, the eleven-year-old son of Little-League baseball enthusiast Stephen Defoe, was optioned to the AA orphanage after his team, the Arlington Cobras, lost on Saturday.
Strasburg K’s Obama, Nationals Face Sanctions
On Friday night, President Obama did not have plans (Nancy Pelosi’s surprise party was cancelled because Joe Biden couldn’t keep his mouth shut), so he went to Nationals Park to see what all the hype around Stephen Strasburg was all about as the Nats took on his hometown White Sox. Then, in the 7th inning [...]
Oriole Kevin Millwood Given Preemptive Loss
Things just keep getting worse for Kevin Millwood.
Orioles Lobby for Rollover Runs Program
Orioles President of Baseball Operations Andy MacPhail is preparing to begin his campaign to upgrade the Orioles into a rollover runs program.
Crowley Hits Way Out of Wet Paper Bag
In an apparent effort to silence the critics who have been calling for his ouster, Baltimore Orioles hitting coach Terry Crowley hit his way out of a wet paper bag before a recent game against the Boston Red Sox.
Strasburg Possibly Related to Jesus Christ
Stephen Strasburg, who issued fourteen strikeouts and no walks in his Major League debut, may be the son of God.
Strasburg Wins First Start, Heals Leper
WASHINGTON – Nationals phenom Stephen Strasburg fared well in his big league debut last night, striking out 14 and allowing only two runs in seven innings, getting the win and healing a leper seated in section 204 of Nationals Park. “I just wanted to come out here, command my pitches, throw strikes, and save a [...]