Yankees Sign Lady Gaga To Improve Image

Understandably, security cannot be blamed.

Lady Gaga was acquired by the Yankees to improve their team image after her clubhouse pop-in on Sunday.   It has been reported that Gaga discreetly slipped by security dressed as a Kermit the Frog Tree.

“I just assumed she was here as part of the next promo night.  Are they having a Kermit the Frog night?” explained a security guard in his defense.

Upon entering the Yankee clubhouse, Gaga, unaware that the team had just lost, started spraying players with champagne and began flinging Kermits across the room.  She then began flashing her pokerface to some of the players.

“I saw her p-p-pokerface,” said first baseman, Mark Teixeira, slightly trembling, “It scared the hell out of me.”

Alex Rodriguez tracked down a reporter during the incident and added, “If that’s what she’s bringing to the table, I’m all in!,” as he was drenched in champagne with a Kermit wrapped around his neck.  He then gave second baseman, Robinson Cano, a high-five.

After the incident, Yankee GM, Brain Cashman said he thought Gaga has everything it takes to be a Yankee and that she would be very marketable and could improve the team’s image.

“She certainly shows that she already understands the Yankee culture.  Now we’ll just get her the standard Yankee haircut and she’ll be a Yankee.”  Cashman went on saying, “We think she can help us get past this lame-ass, momma’s boy, ‘everybody love me’ image that Jeter’s plagued us with.”

When asked about her opportunity to take her career to the next level with the Yankee organization, Gaga replied, “I want a glove, glove-glove-glove, I want a glove!”

Popularity: 5% [?]