Orioles Invite Comedian Carrot Top to Drunkenly Stumble Into Clubhouse

The New York Yankees are perhaps the most marketable baseball team in the world.  What makes this team so marketable is the number of World Series wins, the best record in all the league, and of course the number of celebrities that are in attendance at their games.  Rapper Jay-z has made mention of the Yankees in many of his songs, Billy Joel was in a New York State of Mind, and most recently Lady Gaga appeared in the Yankee clubhouse drunk in order to boost her popularity as well as the team’s.

You won't like me when I'm angry...or doing my stand up act.

In an attempt to copy the Yankee business model the Baltimore Orioles have invited the prop comic Carrot Top to drunkenly stumble into their clubhouse in order to gain national attention.  “Yea we thought it was a great idea, our team colors are orange and black, his hair is orange and his soul is black.” said Orioles owner Peter Angelos.  The plan backfired though when Carrot Top became angry due to his frequent steroid use and started tearing apart the clubhouse.

“It was scary.  I’ve seen his stand up and thought that was scary, but THIS was scary.” said Oriole catcher Matt Wieters.  “I don’t know what kind of stuff that guy is on…but we could use some.”

Notable Carrot Top fan Cla Meredith became so afraid that he designated himself for assignment.  “If this is how the Orioles are trying to gain national fame, I want no part of it.”  Carrot Top proceeded to hunt Meredith down and tear him in half, eating his torso while feeding wolf young-lings  the rest of his body.

Popularity: 100% [?]