Mr. Met Diagnosed with Terminal Brain Cancer

Mr. Met, overcome by emotion at Thursday night's press conference

Mr. Met, the beloved New York mascot, has been diagnosed with stage four brain cancer. The malignant brain tumor at the base of his frontal lobe, which is the about the size of a beach ball, has gone unnoticed since 1963, when he was introduced as the Mets’ mascot.

Though Mets’ fans and employees have reacted with disbelief, Doctor James Andrews, who diagnosed Mr. Met, claims the cancer was blatantly obvious and should not have gone untreated for this long. “Come on, the massive swelling in his head, the crude red stitches keeping his face face together, his complete inability to speak, how did nobody catch this earlier?”

In show of respect for their mascot, the Mets made a concerted effort not to get any hits in Friday night’s 1-0 loss to the Giants. “We were trying not to hit the ball because it reminds us too much of Mr. Met’s head. It had nothing to do with the fact that [Barry Zito's] stuff was nasty,” explained Mets’ captain David Wright.

This comes in the wake of another tragedy, when Mr. Met’s NL East rival, the Philly Phanatic, was diagnosed with terminal radiation poisoning.

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Filed Under: BaseballFeaturedMLB

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About the Author: Zack, a junior at Auburn University, originally hails from Bowie, Maryland. He thought about leaving school early to test the waters of the NBA draft, but decided to stay in school and work on his creative writing degree. Zack secretly fears that he'll never achieve his dream of being a professional athlete, and he writes for the SportsCrab as a way of coping.

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