Author Archive for Rocco
Rocco is an environmental scientist by day, barely dealing with anything environmental and absolutely nothing scientific and a parody blogger by night. His sports allegiances lie scattered because he takes a scientific approach to following any specific team. He is a firm believer the Orioles will win the AL East in 2012, based on exactly zero scientific evidence. He admires the Ravens for their color scheme and would like see the NHL come to Baltimore. The Baltimore Skipjacks, anyone? He is also convinced he could tell people he is Algerian and they would believe him. He looks good in lime green.
Roethlisberger Sends Favre Graphic Pic Message to Lend Support
Ben Roethlisberger sent Brett Favre a graphic pic message Wednesday evening as an “I’m here for you” gesture from one embattled quarterback to another. After receiving the message, Favre called an impromptu press conference in order to secure the top story on SportsCenter at 11PM. The pic message was received at 7:52PM EST, after the [...]
O-H-I-Oh the Irony! Brutus the Buckeye Mauled By Real Bobcat
The dangerous life of a mascot.
Michigan’s Big House to Add Lights, Pull NCAA Violation All-Nighters
After expanding to 113,000 capacity, the Big House in Michigan is ready to take another big step and add permanent lights to the stadium. Really, they’re just now adding lights, in 2010. As of now, games ending after dusk are completed “under the lights” by having several thousand cars parked along the upper perimeter of [...]
Big Ben Named Captain of Sex Cruise
Big Ben to make most of suspension.
Strasburg to Make Surgical Debut, Repair Own Elbow
Calling Dr. Strasburg
“Donnie Football’s” ACL Delivers Serious Blow to Rams Super Bowl Hopes
The “Donnie” Curse in St. Louis?
Chan Gailey Tells Teenage Hecklers to Be Nice, Gets Heckled
Rebellious teens really do not care what Chan Gailey has to say.
Phil Mickelson Favored Over Tiger, Becomes Sex Crazed
Being better than Tiger can have unintended consequences.
Broadcaster Has Mind Blown By Walk-Off Homerun
In an under reported story, Pittsburgh Pirates radio color commentator, Steve Blass, had his mind blown Saturday night when the Pirates’ rookie phenom, Pedro Alvarez, hit a walk off homerun to defeat the Colorado Rockies, 8-7. As the ball left Alvarez’s bat on an 0-1 pitch, Blass’ mind blew out of his head and he [...]
Burress Applies For Gun Permit For Demonstrations
Plax puts the “un” in gun safety.
Blackhawks Intern Makes Honest Mistake, Not OK
A difference in shades results in a dark day.
Yankees Sold For Over Two Banks Full of Money
Money, Money, Money–Money!
Bulls, McGrady: Diagnosis Negative
The Chicago Bulls set two prerequisites for free-agent, Tracy McGrady, to pass their evaluation and be offered a contract for the 2010-11 season. McGrady had been asked to complete Anatomy 101: Head, Shoulders, Knees, And Toes, to help the Bulls staff identify and evaluate his laundry list of injuries, and Career Development 405: Know Your [...]
Dez Bryant Unaware of Rookie Status
When training camp opened on Sunday for the Dallas Cowboys, rookie WR Dez Bryant refused to play his part in a NFL rookie tradition where rookies carry veteran player’s pads at their request. Roy Williams, a seasoned (almost overly) veteran wide out, attempted to have Bryant pay his dues by carrying his pads after practice [...]